As I mentioned in the first blog, I’m pregnant with our first child. So, what’s the experience of being pregnant in my 40’s verses younger? Perhaps, fortunately, I don’t know. I only know what it’s like to be in my 40’s and pregnant. At 33 weeks, the experience so far has been pretty good. I’ve had two hormonal meltdowns both of which lasted btw 5-10 minutes, minor aches – I’ve never been so aware of my pubic bone and all the muscles that attach to it before in my life – and occasional reflux. I came into this world a great sleeper, according to my mom, my first night home she and my dad woke up before I did. I’m used to a good, solid 7 – 8 hours of sleep a night so getting up every 2-3 hours to pee or eat is a new experience. Have to say, I prefer sleeping through the night.
Recently, I started having some slight irritation in my bladder. I used a natural solution and it seemed to take care of the problem. But within a week or so the irritation was back. We did a urinalysis that showed no bacteria. Sitting in meditation one morning I got the bladder stuff started due to everything I wanted to talk to my husband about regarding preparing for baby’s arrival but hadn’t. My mind was making up stories that the conversations were not gong to go well. Then my husband did something that really hurt my feelings and I was doing my best to calm down before addressing it with him. I really didn’t want to fly off the handle and say shaming or degrading things that just didn’t need to be said. My desire is to create loving, respectful communication between my husband and myself; even in situations where our buttons are being pushed and old wounds are being poked. It was during this time that the bladder irritation came back and was even stronger than before. Even though I had a sense that I just needed to talk to my husband I kept putting it off. I dug into my beliefs about my own passive aggressive behavior, resistance to change and released the resentment, regret and rejection I was feeling around all of it. Focused on forgiveness, love, respect and kindness as well as being able and willing to be neutral and then finally spoke up.
The conversation went remarkably well, I almost couldn’t believe how calm and patient I was able to be or how much my husbands behavior had seemed to change. Instead of taking any bate or dangling any in front of him, I was able to keep focused on loving, respectful communication.
We haven’t resolved everything and we don’t have ‘it all’ figured out but I think the next conversation will be tremendously easier to start and my bladder feels great!